Did you know that the traditional symbol representing a 10th wedding anniversary is tin or aluminum? Tin represents durability and pliability – that over the years your marriage has been tested many times over – bending in various directions but not broken.

This reminded me of the story of the Tin Can [Mail] Island, an active volcano home to the people of Niuafo’ou. The story begins back in 1882 when a plantation farmer desperate for any kind of communication with the outside world, came up with an ingenious plan to receive mail in the Island. Because Niuafo’ou is nothing more than just a tip of a volcano with no harbor or beaches, Ocean Liners passing by wouldn’t be able to drop anchor or land. Even for a small rowing boat. Thus, creating the invention of the Tin Can Mail.

Mail arriving in these Ocean Liners came sealed inside a 40lb biscuit tin as a form of waterproof mail containers. The workers on the boat would throw these containers overboard, and then the Island’s fishermen would begin to swim out in the dangerous shark-infested waters using a long fau pole to collect the mail.

In stormy weather, the strong currents meant that the fishermen would struggle to swim for almost 6hrs to retrieve mail that was thrown only a mile offshore. As such, over the years they came up with different ideas to improve how to retrieve mail from sea.

I’d like to think that within these past 10years of being married, our marriage often depicts the story of the Tin Can Mail. We’re always learning to readjust, realign and reevaluate various ingenious plans to help navigate our family. Sometimes, it feels like we’re swimming for hours on end just to reach something that’s only a “mile offshore”. Feeling tired and defeated, the easy option has always been to just give up, but being married to a guy like Paane, giving up is not an option!

Over the years – during our anniversary – I’ve shared life lessons learned during our marriage. You’ll see that the theme of these life lessons has always been that: I married up! 🙂

10. With just days before closing on our home, Paane got fired from his job. He worked in an area that was predominantly white, so he became a victim of racial profiling. He was told by management and HR that he was being let go for rumors being told that he was a “drug dealer”. Yes – you read that right. Drug dealer. You guys, I heard this, and my immediate reaction was just to crawl into a corner, cry and just give up! There was no way we were able to close on our home – but Paane never gave up and we were able to still close. His ingenious tin-can-mail-like plans have continued to save us many times over.

9. We often go over budget on things because of him. If you’ve ever received a gift from us that was expensive, or in monetary form – just know that its only made possible because of Paane. And if you’ve ever received a gift from us that was homemade – mind yo business and know that I made that with love! lol

8. We don’t do favoritisms when it comes to the kids…ahem… lol But Paane has a soft spot for his Princess Luna. A couple of weeks ago, they had a disagreement that left Luna in tears. Because he was rushing to get to work, he wasn’t able to resolve the issue with her and they both left being mad at each other. Paane in our marriage isn’t one to leave a conflict unresolved, I do that all by myself lol I’ll give him the silent treatment – and won’t talk to him for several days. So, I knew he wasn’t going to leave to work without trying to resolve some kind of resolution with Luna. He came back into the house and tried and because she’s as stubborn as me, he left to work feeling defeated. I tried to help become the mediator, so when he got to work, I FaceTimed him so that Luna can apologize. Imagine this grown man, sitting in his work truck and his daughter uttering the words, “I’m sorry Dad!” It’s those three little words that will have a grown man sobbing in his work truck lol

Thank you, Paane for being so quick to forgive & forget, because sometimes it literally takes me days to even recognize I’m in the wrong. lol

7. Missionaries are his favorite people on earth! If he sees them walking, driving or biking he makes an effort to say hi, wave or even honk at them lol Maybe it’s because I didn’t serve a mission or have a missionary son out yet – but I oftentimes don’t share his compassion for them  *i know, I know.. lol* The biggest adjustment for me has been learning to just shut my mouth when I see him take out his wallet and empty all of our cash for them lol or that one time, he asked me to buy them McDonald’s and I chose to ignore his request – and as I turned around, he’s swallowing back tears as he said, “What if that was my sister serving in the Philippines?” Needless to say, we bought them each a gift certificate to eat at McDonalds lol I know the blessings we’ve received today is only made possible because my Husband is the way he is and has a heart  of gold! If it was based on mines…. that’s a different story 

6. He has this innate ability to love, and to love hard! If you’ve come in contact with him, you’ll soon realize that whatever he has — he will freely give to you. Mi casa es tu casa.

5. He also isn’t shy to hustle for a deal when it comes to purchasing things lol I’m always flabbergasted with his timing because he’ll choose to ask the McDonald’s worker (a random one at that!) for an employee discount after ordering $35 worth of food!  You best believe I’m squirming in my seat wishing there was a giant hole next to me that i can just fall into! lol

4. When we first got married, I couldn’t work because I didn’t have a visa. So, Paane provided for us financially. I saw him working various jobs and graveyard shifts for minimum wage collecting trash at our local hospital to be able to provide for us. No job was ever too small or insignificant for him if it meant providing for his family.

3. Every Sunday I’d wait for him after church (most times in the car, for 20mins or more!) while he talks to EVERY single person at church! He’s such a social butterfly . He’ll get in the car and tell me, “Hun, did you know your Aunty so and so came to church today?” Annoyed that he took so long I’d often reply, “Oh good to know. I’m sure she’ll be there next week ”

2. I’ve often joked that I hate… hmm hate is a strong word lol I don’t like children lol I have no choice but to love mines, because I mean, they’re mines!  Lol but, I really don’t have the patience to deal with them. Paane will volunteer to watch/carry/babysit everybody’s kids because he genuinely enjoys being around them.

1. There’s no such thing as shortcut when it comes to the Lord. We struggled as newlyweds living paycheck to paycheck because Paane worked a minimum wage job, which meant we were going to rely solely on his income. Most times when it came to paying fast offering, I usually suggest just paying the exact minimum amount we would use for the missed meals, so that we can have left over money on hand. But he has often reminded me numerous times that if we pay a “generous” amount the Lord will be generous with His blessings. We’ve personally seen the fruits of those blessings when we pay a generous fast offering.

As always – see you in a year lol 🙂