Paane and I went on a date last night, probably our first date sans kids in … geez  I don’t even remember! It really has been quite T H A T long lol We realized how much we took for granted those free babysitting services made available to us in Sacramento when we moved here to Arizona. So when his parents visited for a whole week to spend Halloween with us, we made sure that we took advantage of the opportunity! I mean, it was great!

I always look forward to going on date nights because Paane and I get to really keep things real! Lol Apart from having fun, the laughter, being lovey dovey and all the hoopla’s, we really take the opportunity to call out each other’s crap shortcomings AND discuss ways to better improve on our mistakes. We get to talk about our goals, visions and ambitions. We discuss gospel related matters; budgets; parenthood failures; small and big victories – both at home and at work. We talk about our ideals, values, and then discuss various ways on how to become more engaged in our marriage. Because I mean, let’s face it, marriage is hard! The only way to make sure that we’re successful at it is to continuously work on our communication.

Earlier this week as we were winding down for the night, Paane and I were both in bed with our phones glued to our faces & busily catching up on social media. Sad right?! Well unbeknownst to me, the kids had sneaked in to join us in bed and so when they did, Paane stopped whatever it was that he was doing to play with the kids. I think Paane got irritated by the fact that I was still so oblivious to the fact that he was playing with the kids, and that I was still busy catching up on snapchat and Instagram – that he said something to me that came across as being hurtful and mean. So instead of replying back civilly (civically)? eh whatever… I told him that he was such a bigoted condescending f tool! That just because he was doing the right thing does not give him the right to talk to me like that!

I mean, talk about 0-100 reaaaaaal quick! LOL

 

I remember immediately having that tit-for-tat rightness attitude and feeling very prideful because I wasn’t ready yet to admit that I could be wrong and couldn’t get myself to simply admit, “I’m sorry, I’m in the wrong here”. So instead, I rolled over and immediately fell asleep. Oh, such is the hard truths about marriage! lol

Anyways, when we went on our date last night – he called me out on that! Lol The hardest thing about date nights for me, and I’ve continued to learn this when married to Paane, is that when he calls me out on my crap during date nights, it forces me to address it right at that very moment. Because usually, I am known for running away from every single argument we have. One of the biggest thing I love about Paane is his ability to swallow his pride, and consistently follows me into the next room and then pries every difficult thought and word out until we’re both content. And then he’s usually the first one to say sorry; a skill after 5 years of marriage I’m still learning to master! ;-]

My biggest tip to anyone thinking of going on a date, whether you’re single or married, is to really take the time to have those difficult discussions. Yes, having fun is important especially when you’re dating-to-get-married – but it’s also equally important that you begin to have those difficult discussions during date nights. Oftentimes, you don’t necessarily have to wait until date nights/companionship inventory to address those issues – because it’s best to address them as they happen. However way you do it, I promise you that once you start to talk through them and you begin to realize your weakest and most vulnerable moments, you will come out of it not only developing a deeper love for your husband but also an even greater strength to endure [him & marriage] … until the next date night!

*totally kidding*

lol

We really do have some of the best fun date nights, right Hun?! lol ❤